Ok you asked for it!!
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July 7, 2010 6:49 p.m. bigwrench Reader
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July 7, 2010 7:23 p.m. kabel Dork
Look ahead! Unwind, squeeze the power, GO! GO GO! Brake... NOW!
The usual stuff
Bacon is Meat Candy
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July 7, 2010 7:37 p.m. ignorant SuperDork
I've always loved you.
When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk.
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July 7, 2010 7:38 p.m. stuart in mn SuperDork
It was too long ago to remember anything specific that he said, but my dad happened to be the driver ed instructor in our school so I imagine he yelled at me a lot.

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July 7, 2010 7:51 p.m. CaptainSpaulding Reader
"You can go faster, dont lift, dont lift, dont lift, good job if you would have lifted we would be in the weeds."
Turn one a Lajunta balls out in the 400+ hp Saleen. Three laps later I cooked the brakes and went off at turn 7.
"Good job. You went both feet in, kept the car straight and didnt kill us. Toss some real brakes on this thing and it will be fast. You are almost ready to go racing with those loud knuckle draggers and should fit right in."
That pretty much sums up the conversation siting in the weeds waiting for the corner workers to give us the ok to get back on track.
My first instructer was a Porsche 911 racer and really likes the Saleen.
Good times.
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July 7, 2010 8:17 p.m. ddavidv SuperDork
In the rain, going sideways facing the guardrail at VIR in an HPDE. My instructor: "Hehehehehe, weeee!"
And then I saved it, at which point he said, "Nicely done!" He later confessed when I asked him about the laughter "aww hell, I saw you were gonna save it before you ever had a clue."
He was actually a very good instructor. I had him again another time and he nearly pounded the dash for me to go faster. Not typically what they want in a HPDE instructor but he also knew when to rein me in. I wish he could see me now as a racer. Haven't crossed paths with him for a couple years.
"Having fun is my revenge on mortality"--Dustin Hoffman
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July 7, 2010 9:31 p.m. M2Pilot Reader
"Oh E36 M3!!" as we approached the tirewall off turn 17 @VIR.
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July 7, 2010 9:59 p.m. MrJoshua SuperDork
"Dude, you really need a driving instructor" (Voice in my head as I'm bombing around the the Gainesville Raceway Test Track without a clue)
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July 7, 2010 10:01 p.m. mndsm HalfDork
Something I told a friend of mine while instructing him on the finer points of a manual in my wifes' Cooper S "And this is what happens if you have too many revs and get off the clutch too quick"
Nice burnout ensued, and then I owed the wife new tires because apparently the ones on the car were on their way out anyhow, and took an early vacation on my way home from said shenanigans.
Go fast or go broke.
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July 7, 2010 10:14 p.m. Tom Heath Webmaster
"Can you hear me ok?"
I think they've all said that...
I tried drag racing, but kept blowing the apex for turn 2... Xbox Live gamertag— GRM Tom
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July 7, 2010 10:24 p.m. Lesley SuperDork
Approaching Turn Two at Mosport (an off-camber down-hill turn with blind apex) "Don't even think of braking!"
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July 7, 2010 10:28 p.m. StevenFV19 New Reader
Conversation
Me: "You see that concrete wall over there"
Student: "Yeah"
Me: "Well, were going to hit if if you keep taking the turn without braking."
Next lap
Student: "Oh, braking does help..."
Don't get mad, Get Paid!
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July 7, 2010 10:47 p.m. Tommy Suddard SonDork
Going about 90 mph sideways into 10a at Road Atlanta (In the E30!).
Instructor: "Oh E36 M3, we're gonna hit the wall!"
Me: "No."
I ended up correcting it (I even stayed on the line!). After the session, he said "Thank god you have quick hands, that's one of the few times I've actually been scared."

'cause we're aliens, and thats how we roll.
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July 7, 2010 10:52 p.m. Apexcarver SuperDork
I was instructing a kid in a BMW at an autocross (his first) who seemed to think that EVERY time he touched the brake that he had to clutch.. and I mean EVERY.. and of course if hes on the clutch, he might as well change gears...
I refrained from asking WTF during his first run, had a conversation about it waiting for the second run..
Halfway through the second run..
"You just clutched, get your damn foot over to the deadpedal and PUNCH the gas!
talking to him later he told me he felt like he learned a lot, seems when he was learning to drive a stick someone put it in his head that decel through the clutch would blow the trans.. umm, no..
formerly known as hotstang
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July 7, 2010 11:21 p.m. Streetwiseguy Reader
"You've got gentle hands."
And yes, that can be taken the wrong way, but I've never been attracted to Al that way.

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July 8, 2010 3:40 a.m. Mikey52_1 New Reader
Apexcarver wrote: I was instructing a kid in a BMW at an autocross (his first) who seemed to think that EVERY time he touched the brake that he had to clutch.. and I mean EVERY.. and of course if hes on the clutch, he might as well change gears... I refrained from asking WTF during his first run, had a conversation about it waiting for the second run.. Halfway through the second run.. "You just clutched, get your damn foot over to the deadpedal and PUNCH the gas! talking to him later he told me he felt like he learned a lot, seems when he was learning to drive a stick someone put it in his head that decel through the clutch would blow the trans.. umm, no..
I wonder just how prevalent that myth is...maybe MythBusters should take it up.Mike
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July 8, 2010 6:07 a.m. kevinSC1 New Reader
You took that corner very well. But since this isn't a race, next time go slower.
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July 8, 2010 7:14 a.m. gjz30075 Reader
Ignorant, now that's funny!
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July 8, 2010 7:33 a.m. car39 Reader
After a spin and the formula car high centered on a curb, I heard this behind me:
"Who's stuck" "The fat guy"
I felt real good. :)
Can you drive and count to five? I can (sometimes)
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July 8, 2010 7:42 a.m. HappyJack Reader
I took Drivers Ed in school, and we had to drive in groups. So 2 people were always in the back seat waiting for their turn to drive. In my group was a nervous kid. As we were crossing a set of train tracks, the instructor casually said, "Watch for the train" meaning you were supposed to give a glance each way to check for trains when crossing tracks.
This nervous kid paniced, slammed on the brakes and screamed "TRAIN?!?! What train??" as we came to a stop right on the tracks.

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July 8, 2010 8:01 a.m. bravenrace Dork
I was getting towards the end of a long downhill straight. I hit the brakes and there were none. I pumped, which helped little. I down-shifted, and then used the parking brake. The whole time my instructor is yelling "Stop, Stop Stop!!!!!". I was a little too busy to explain what was happening, which didn't help his yelling in my ear. I got it slowed down enough to slide it around the corner and then explained to him what happened.
Another time I had a really nice instructor that was also quite huge. I had a CRX-si with a turbo, but it still wasn't a race car, and the extra weight was noticeable. After doing a few laps he says to me - "I really wasn't the best pick to instruct in a CRX. I'm just slowing you down. Pull into the pits". Then he got out and I never saw him again.
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July 8, 2010 8:05 a.m. racerdave600 HalfDork
"you have great car control, too bad you have to use it"
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July 8, 2010 8:22 a.m. mattbatson New Reader
"you already know what your doing, I dont need to tell you anything"
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July 8, 2010 8:31 a.m. camaroz1985 New Reader
After a GTO spun in front of me coming out of 2 at Summit Point
"I've never seen any car to car contact at one of these things, but that's as close as I want to get. Good job!"
I can't remember what the other one told me after we coasted to a stop in turn 1 with a rod through the block.
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July 8, 2010 8:33 a.m. hobiercr Reader
I was doing a drivers school at Roebling Road and it had been raining hard for all the sessions. I'm trying to keep my car on the track on very old A008R's and they just keep letting go with no warning. After a few big spins my instructor says "would you just go buy some new goddamn rain tires...and while you're at it disconnect your sway bars"
$800 in Hoosiers later with rear sway bar link disconnected and I'm passing much more powerful cars in the turns. Of course immediately after that session the sun comes out and the track dries up and we have to set everything back to how it was...
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