Forums » Grassroots Motorsports » The 'I Win At Life' Thread 1 2 3 4 5

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  Oct. 25, 2011 7:45 p.m. Twin_Cam SuperDork

  Post an (automotive-related) reason, preferably sarcastic and self-effacing, why you win at life. I'll go first.

  I broke a part of my car (a CV joint boot) while fixing another part (suspension bits). Yay.

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  Oct. 25, 2011 7:47 p.m. z31maniac SuperDork

  I got all excited about getting Sport brakes for the (new to me) 1990 Miata I plan on turning into an HPDE car.

  Then realized the 14" stock wheels that have fresh tires on them, that would be on for the commute to the track, won't fit over the brakes.

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  Oct. 25, 2011 7:48 p.m. Toyman01 SuperDork

  I have two of the coolest cars in the world and neither one of them run.

  That and when I have the time to fix them I don't have the money, and when I have the money I don't have the time.

  I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

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  Oct. 25, 2011 7:53 p.m. Woody SuperDork

  I found a great deal on some barely used tires mounted on perfect wheels. Then I scratched all five spokes of one wheel taking it out of my truck. I had owned them less than an hour.

  Porsche. Everyday.

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  Oct. 25, 2011 8:10 p.m. mndsm SuperDork

  I went to replace the rotors on my Prizm and put a little too much muscle into one of the lower caliper bolts, and sheared the sumbitch off right about 1/4" into the bracket. So much for that knuckle. Turned a 30$ job into a 200$ job, in a 150$ car.

  Go fast or go broke.

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  Oct. 25, 2011 8:11 p.m. friedgreencorrado SuperDork

  Bought a set of NOS VW "Snowflake" wheels year before last for my Mk.2 Golf GTI (wanted to replace my bent "Teardrops"). $650 for the set, didn't mind because they were pristine. Still in the original boxes.

  http://grassrootsmotorsports.com/reader-rides/779/arent-they-pretty/

  Thing I didn't mention in the update: UPS left them on the front porch (told `em to..I still had a job at the time, and didn't want to take a day off to sign for delivery), and sure enough..I dropped one while loading them up to go to the tire store. Bent. The bead area's still round, but I see that little bend in the outer rim every single time I look at the car.

  How can it be a midlife crisis, when I've driven sportscars my entire life?

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  Oct. 25, 2011 8:11 p.m. Taiden Dork

  I successfully performed a driveway alignment when my local alignment shop said they wouldn't.

  Then as I went to tighten the last pinch bolt, the threads stripped!

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  Oct. 25, 2011 8:16 p.m. JamesMcD Reader

  I've had a 3rd generation RX-7 in my garage for 8 years that has never been licensed in my name or driven over 25 miles an hour.

  ...And instead of working to get the RX-7 into a state in which I could actually drive it (would probably take an RX-7 shop about 2 hours), I am obsessing over and making plans for the two GC-body ('83-'87) 626s I just purchased.

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  Oct. 25, 2011 8:25 p.m. wbjones SuperDork

  in the dark on Sun morning at CMP last mo. I decided to check how much pad I had left before going to the drivers meeting ( our group was first out ) loosened the caliper slider bolt , rotated it out of the way , tied it off with a bungee cord... checked the other side... everything was ok... replaced wheels and went to the meeting

  first session ... no problems... personal best lap of the weekend.. 3rd lap of second lap, approaching the braking zone for the fastest corner at the end of the longest straight.... hit the brakes.. hard right turn, got off, hit them again.... could see the workers getting ready to scatter... decided that there was lots of room to run off straight ahead... got back to the pits and pulled the left front...

  you guessed it there was the bungee cord wrapped around the axle and brake line... kinked the steel-braided line and tore the boot off

  what a dumb but ... bet I don't do that again

  understeer: when you hit the wall with the front end,,, oversteer: when you hit the wall with the back end.... horsepower: how hard you hit that wall.... torque: how far you drag that wall

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  Oct. 25, 2011 8:37 p.m. patgizz SuperDork

  i've got a corvette and in the quest of jumbo brakes i made it not drivable last year and haven't fixed it yet...

  When I grow up, I want to be just like Colt McCoy

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  Oct. 25, 2011 8:39 p.m. N Sperlo Dork

  Yesterday I successfully removed a rubber hose in the fuel input line on my friends mom's van after struggling for about an hour. Then I noticed the bolt that allowed the pipe to slide allowing proper spacing to remove the hose. After that I successfully punched my friend.

  - N. Sperlo -:-:- "Never take life seriously. No one ever gets out alive anyway." ~ ~ A strong tail wind can't hurt either...~~ K0HOF

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  Oct. 25, 2011 8:39 p.m. Streetwiseguy Dork

  Broke the crank just before the last main bearing in my Neon. After towing 700 km. In qualifying on Saturday morning.

  They rattle a lot when the crank is in two pieces.

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  Oct. 25, 2011 8:45 p.m. Gearheadotaku Dork

  Got the engine out of my car on Sunday. Upon trying to put it on the stand I stripped a hole or 2 in the adapter plate and bent the stand.

  Old enough to know better, too young too care!

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  Oct. 25, 2011 8:49 p.m. TRoglodyte HalfDork

  This is a good " Don't get me started" thread.I hit my head hard when I was a kid........... the rest is history.

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  Oct. 25, 2011 8:50 p.m. DaewooOfDeath HalfDork

  I broke all four sway bar links and cut a brake line while installing my coilovers.

  I'm a badge snob.

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  Oct. 25, 2011 8:54 p.m. dj06482 HalfDork

  Years ago I replaced the cat-back on my Mustang GT. I used a hacksaw to cut some misc flap that was interfering with the tailpipe, only to learn it was a folded over piece of the gas tank. Was very glad I hadn't used the Dremel!

  Last year the first time I used my new-to-me truck as a truck, I managed to put a 6" ding and scratch on the side of the rear bed when loading a tree stump over the side. That's why I hate the trucks with a higher load height. Note to self, use the tailgate, dummy!

  '05 Odyssey | '06 RAV4 | '06 Dodge RAM 1500 QC

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  Oct. 25, 2011 8:56 p.m. Giant Purple Snorklewacker SuperDork

  I lost a fight with a roll cage tubing fish-mouth three weeks ago, which I cleverly crazy glued closed and kept working instead of going to the doctor for a proper fix. Now I have a wicked scar just above my right eye that has a huge lump under it that needs to be cut and re-fixed so I can stop squinting like Clint Eastwood. Not only that - but atleast 5 people told me to go get it looked at - and now I have to endure the endless "Eye told you so's".

  Lord of drivel and harbinger of Floundering

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  Oct. 25, 2011 9:02 p.m. TRoglodyte HalfDork

  If the eye told you so...

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  Oct. 25, 2011 9:06 p.m. NGTD Dork

  Used a dremel to cut off a bolt head on my Passat's water pump. Put a nice hole in the rad. That cost me $175.

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  Oct. 25, 2011 9:15 p.m. N Sperlo SuperDork

  Oh yea.... Thanks for reminding me of that, Jerk. Pulled out of the driveway after fixing the transmission and said "Hi" to the hood of my F150. Had a sheet metal worker do all he could to bend it back...

  - N. Sperlo -:-:- "Never take life seriously. No one ever gets out alive anyway." ~ ~ A strong tail wind can't hurt either...~~ K0HOF

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  Oct. 25, 2011 9:28 p.m. Lugnut Dork

  A couple of days after I drove my beatery-new LS400 home, noticing the locking lug nuts had no keys, I figured I would get them off over the weekend. Two days later, my wheel studs broke due to the loose nuts and I nearly lost my wheel on the expressway.

  Oh, and I also jabbed three holes from the studs in my water pump straight into my radiator when I thought I had enough room to pull the pump without removing said radiator.

  A mouse has cut the wire! Good-by!

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  Oct. 25, 2011 9:50 p.m. Schmidlap HalfDork

  Yesterday I was driving to work and got a flat front tire. I pulled into a parking lot, got out the spare tire, jack, wrench and the little collapsible wheel chock that came with the car. The jack on my car doesn't just sit under the car, there's a square tube under the car that the top of the jack slides into, locking it into place. I got the car jacked up, the flat tire off, the spare tire on and the lug nuts finger tight. I lowered the jack enough to put enough weight on the tire so I could tighten the bolts without the wheel turning and got the bolts tightened just as a cop pulled up and asked if I needed a hand. I thanked him and said I was just finishing up. I put the flat tire, wrench and wheel chock in the trunk, jumped in the car and drove about a foot before the car lurched a bit and I heard a scraping noise. Yup, I had left the jack in place. Because the jack slides into a square tube, it got twisted when the car moved forward and the base of the jack wedged into the pavement, wrecking the jack. After some cursing and swearing, I was able to wiggle the jack out of the tube - I was worried it was going to get wedged in there and I'd have to cut it off. Looking on the bright side, if the jack didn't lock in place, I probably would have run over it with the rear tire while pulling away and gotten a flat on that tire.

  Bob

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  Oct. 25, 2011 9:56 p.m. SyntheticBlinkerFluid Dork

  Had the rear end of my Durango in the air to replace the rear rotors. I had the front wheels chocked.

  The wheels were frozen to the hubs, so I decided to do the backwards kick to break the wheels loose. Drivers side came off fine, when I started the passenger side, couldn't get it off, resorted to the sledge hammer to the inside of the wheel. The wheel fell off and the whole truck slipped across the floor off the jack stands.

  '95 Jeep Cherokee / '80 Mazda Rx-7 / '68 Corvair Monza Coupe

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  Oct. 25, 2011 10:08 p.m. mad_machine SuperDork

  wow.. I thought my stories were bad. Most of mine involve parts breaking that I was going to replace later that day.

  Like the CV joint in my old Hyindai Excel that had to sheer on the way to work.. instead of waiting 10 miles till I got home from work and could replace it with the replacement axle sitting in the trunk

  Be careful of your words, for someone will agree with them. Be careful of your conduct, for someone will imitate it. -Leih Tsu

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  Oct. 25, 2011 10:12 p.m. irish44j Dork

  1. while trying to get a small, empty utility trailer out of my back yard in wet/muddy grass, got my wife's 4Runner (in 4WD) stuck on the very small hill that sloped sideways. While trying to straighten out and get traction, slid sideways and nailed the rear corner on the 8x8 fence gate post and put a gash in the wife's new truck. It got better tires soon thereafter.

  2. with same 4Runner and same trailer. Was maneuvering it around a neighbor's car inthe cul-de-sac trying to back into the driveway. The trailer sits so low it cannot be seen out the back glass. While watching the neighbor's car on one side, I neglected to note that I had the trailer cocked to far over in the other mirror. Ended up cocking it totally over until the metal rail on it penetrated the side of the 4Runner's rear bumper cover (other side from where I had previously damaged).

  Both of these despite the fact that I've maneuvered 40-foot boats on trailers with ease, towed things hundreds of miles, and am generally a pro at maneuvering trailers, especially big ones. Apparently I can't maneuver a 250lb litte trailer though.

  1. During college, decided to flush the power steering fluid on my old '87 Integra. Did it easily. Realized after a few minutes of driving that instead of putting new PS fluid in the reservior I had grabbed the large bottle of brake fluid next to it. Replaced the previously perfectly-good steering rack and pump the next day

  2. While replacing the hatchback glass rubber seal on the GT6 years ago, I went to put the glass down and it slipped out of my greasy hands and shattered all over the driveway. Spent a week trying to find a replacement piece and did. Except turns out I found glass from an MGB GT. Not a Triumph GT6. $200 down the drain, no returns.

  the list could go further, but that's sufficient for now.

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